Out of the Darkness From Turmoil to Transformation by Steve Taylor

In Out of the Darkness, bestselling author Steve Taylor tells the stories of more than 30 people who have undergone permanent spiritual awakening after intense trauma and turmoil in their lives.

Read about the young woman who was reborn after suffering terrible injuries in the 7/7 bombings in London, the man who found enlightenment after becoming paralyzed in a fall, the man who underwent transformation after attempting suicide, and the recovering alcoholic who shifted to a permanent state of enlightenment after hitting ‘rock bottom’ and losing everything.

Steve has also interviewed several spiritual teachers whose awakening occurred after intense psychological turmoil, including Eckhart Tolle. In addition to telling these people’s stories, Out of the Darkness explains why turmoil has this transformational effect and illustrates the almost infinite capacity of human beings to overcome suffering. It shows how close – and how natural – spiritual awakening is to all of us.

Steve Taylor is an author and teacher whose main interests are spirituality and psychology. He taught courses on personal development at the University of Manchester in the UK for several years, and is now a researcher in transpersonal psychology at Liverpool John Moores University. He is the author of Waking from Sleep, The Fall and Making Time. Steve lives in Manchester with his wife and young children.

Steve Taylor: Out of the Darkness: Part 1

Steve Taylor is a lecturer in psychology at Leeds Metropolitan University and researcher in transpersonal psychology at Liverpool John Moores University. He has written for many magazines, newspapers and academic journals, including Psychologies, The Daily Express, The Guardian The Journal of Humanistic Psychology and The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology. Steve lives in Manchester with his wife and young children.

Out of the Darkness tells the stories of more than 30 people who have undergone permanent psychological rebirth after intense trauma and turmoil in their lives. From suffering terrible injuries or developing life-threatening diseases, to hitting rock bottom as a result of addiction, these people have all shifted into a state of appreciation, connection and intense well-being.
Steve Taylor: Out of the Darkness: part 2

Steve Taylor – Out of the Darkness and The Fall (Turmoil to Enlightenment)

Steve’s research looks at how humanity suddenly changed from being peaceful to war like from around 6000 years ago. Humanity suddenly had an ego explosion where people became more individualistic and separate. Also in his new book “Out of the Darkness” Steve discusses a number of cases where people were going through some of kind of inner turmoil to then suddenly transform into an enlightened state of awareness. Where the ego collapses and allows a higher awareness of consciousness to shine through.

Listen to Steve’s fascinating interview and learn about his popular books on the subject.

9/11 healing: The mothers who found forgiveness, friendship

Phyllis Rodriguez and Aicha el-Wafi have a powerful friendship born of unthinkable loss. Rodriguez’ son was killed in the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001; el-Wafi’s son Zacarias Moussaoui was convicted of a role in those attacks and is serving a life sentence. In hoping to find peace, these two moms have come to understand and respect one another.

Relationships – True Love and the Transcendence of Duality (by Kim Eng)

KE: During my travels, one of the most frequently asked question is “What is it like to be in relationship with an enlightened being?” Why this question? Perhaps they have the idea or image of an ideal relationship,and want to know more about it. Perhaps their mind wants to project itself to a future time when they, too,will be in an ideal relationship and find themselves through it. What is it like to be in relationship with an enlightened being?

As long as I have the idea in my head “I have a relationship” or “I am in a relationship,” no matter with whom, I suffer. This I have learnt.With the concept of “relationship” come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a “relationship” should be like. Then I would try to make reality conform to these concepts. And it never does. And again I suffer. The fact of the matter is: there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating.How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts,expectations.

Recently, I asked Eckhart to say a few words on the ego’s search for “love relationships.” our conversation quickly went deeper to touch upon some of the most profound aspects of human existence.Here’s what he said:

ET: What is conventionally called “love” is an ego strategy to avoid surrender. You are looking to someone to give you that which can only come to you in the state of surrender. The ego uses that persona s a substitute to avoid having to surrender. The Spanish language is the most honest in this respect. It uses the same verb, te quiero, for “I love you” and “I want you.” To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change.

The ego singles someone out and makes them special. It uses that person to cover up the constant underlying feeling of discontent, of “not enough,” of anger and hate, which are closely related. These are facets of an underlying deep seated feeling in human beings that is inseparable from the egoic state.When the ego singles something out and says “I love” this or that, it’s an unconscious attempt to cover up or remove the deep-seated feelings that always accompany the ego: the discontent, the unhappiness, the sense of insufficiency that is so familiar.

For a little while, the illusion actually works. Then inevitably, at some point, the person you singled out, or made special in your eyes, fails to function as a cover up for your pain, hate, discontent or unhappiness which all have their origin in that sense of insufficiency and incompleteness. Then, out comes the feeling that was covered up, and it gets projected onto the person that had been singled out and made special – who you thought would ultimately “save you.” Suddenly love turns to hate.

The ego doesn’t realize that the hatred is a projection of the universal pain that you feel inside. The ego believes that this person is causing the pain. It doesn’t realize that the pain is the universal feeling of not being connected with the deeper level of your being – not being at one with yourself.The object of love is interchangeable, as interchangeable as the object of egoic wanting. Some people go through many relationships. They fall in love and out of love many times. They love a person for a while until it doesn’t work anymore, because no person can permanently cover up that pain.Only surrender can give you what you were looking for in the object of your love.

The ego says surrender is not necessary because I love this person. It’s an unconscious process of course. The moment you accept completely what is, something inside you emerges that had been covered up by egoic wanting. It is an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself. When that happens, a completely different kind of love is present which is not subject to love / hate. It doesn’t single out one thing or personas special. It’s absurd to even use the same word for it. Now it can happen that even in a normal love / hate relationship, occasionally, you enter the state of surrender.

Temporarily, briefly, it happens: you experience a deeper universal love and a complete acceptance that can sometimes shine through, even in an otherwise egoic relationship. If surrender is not sustained, however, it gets covered up again with the old egoic patterns. So, I’m not saying that the deeper, true love cannot be present occasionally, even in a normal love / hate relationship. But it is rare and usually short-lived.

Whenever you accept what is, something deeper emerges then what is. So, you can be trapped in the most painful dilemma, external or internal, the most painful feelings or situation, and the moment you accept what is, you go beyond it, you transcend it. Even if you feel hatred, the moment you accept that this is what you feel, you transcend it. It may still be there, but suddenly you are at a deeper place where it doesn’t matter that much anymore.The entire phenomenal universe exists because of the tension between the opposites. Hot and cold,growth and decay, gain and loss, success and failure, the polarities that are part of existence, and of course part of every relationship.

KE: Then it’s correct to say, we can never get rid of the polarities?

ET: We cannot get rid of polarities on the level of form. However, you can transcend the polarities through surrender. You are then in touch with a deeper place within yourself where, as it were, the polarities no longer exist. They continue to exist on the outer level. However, even there, something changes in the way in which the polarities manifest in your life when you are in a state of acceptance or surrender. The polarities manifest in a more benign and gentle way.The more unconscious you are, the more you are identified with form. The essence of unconsciousness is this:

identification with form, whether it is an external form (a situation, place, event or experience), a thought form or an emotion. The more attached to form, the more unsurrendered you are, and the more extreme, violent or harsh your experience of the polarities becomes.

There are people on this planet who live virtually in hell and on the same planet there are others who live a relatively peaceful life. The ones who are at peace inside will still experience the polarities, but in a much more benign way, not the extreme way in which many humans still experience them. So, the way in which the polarities are experienced does change. The polarities themselves cannot be removed, but one could say, the whole universe becomes somewhat more benevolent. It’s no longer so threatening. The world is no longer perceived as hostile, which is how the ego perceives it.

KE: If awakening or living a life in an awakened state does not change the natural order of things, duality,the tension between the opposites, what does living a life in the awakened state do? Does it affect the world, or only one’s subjective experience of the world?

ET: When you live in surrender, something comes through you into the world of duality that is not of this world.

KE: Does that actually change the outer world?

ET: Internal and external are ultimately one. When you no longer perceive the world as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak and act differently. Love and compassion arise, and they affect the world. Even if you find yourself in a conflict situation, there is an outflow of peace into the polarities. So then, something does change. There are some teachers or teachings that say, nothing changes. That is not the case. Something very important does change. That which is beyond form shines through the form, the eternal shines through the form into this world of form.

KE: Is it right to say that it is your lack of “reaction against,” your acceptance of the opposites of this world, that brings about changes in the way the opposites manifest?

ET: Yes. The opposites continue to happen, but they are not fueled by you anymore. What you said is a very important point: the “lack of reaction” means that the polarities are not fueled. This means, you often experience a collapse of the polarities, such as in conflict situations. No person, no situation is made into an “enemy.”

KE: So, the opposites, instead of becoming strengthened, become weakened. And perhaps this is how they begin to dissolve.

ET: That’s right. Living in that way is the beginning of the end of the world

The Imitation of Christ ~ Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart immerses us in the writing of 14th-century mystic Thomas ? Kempis, sharing timeless wisdom to overcome the obstacles to spiritual awakening.

Balancing Act: How Meditation Lets Us Look Inside Ourselves to See the Whole World: A Conversation with Jack Kornfield

Jack Kornfield, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, author, and one of the most well-known teachers of Buddhism in the West. He’s a founding teacher of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, and Spirit Rock Center in California. Here, he talks about meditation, his signature loving-kindness practice, an upcoming Kripalu retreat, and why he loves to teach.

What’s at the core of the trainings you teach?

The trainings are centered in equanimity and balance—it’s the training of the heart and mind to stay balanced. I teach a series of steps for equanimity, beginning with reflections on the vastness of time and changing circumstances, ever-changing winds of gain and loss, praise and loss, pleasure and pain. Training has to do with reflecting on the value of keeping a peaceful heart and envisioning others with compassion. We realize that people can love enormously, and that you can’t love on behalf of someone else; we try to understand the limits of love. It’s also using a series of deep intentions: May I live with peace in the joys and sorrows of the world. May you find peace.

What transformations can people have when they practice meditation?

There’s a glow people have, a “meditation facelift” that leaves people profoundly refreshed, their eyes open and skin clear. You don’t have to become a card-carrying Buddhist. You can tend to the beauty that’s awakened in yourself from meditation practice in moments, by skillful use of intention, and the practice of loving-kindness. You can do this anywhere—in the airport, supermarket, or workplace. In any circumstance, even tending young children, having the skills of wise intention is invaluable and makes that circumstance more alive.

Body-based practices, such as being aware of the breath, can help you embody the power of mindfulness and live fully in the present, whether you’re jogging or cooking. The result is the ability to live your life in the reality of the present, rather than in the worries of the future and regrets of the past. And you have the flexibility and ability to respond to your circumstances with a tremendous sense of inner power.

How can someone use mindfulness and loving-kindness every day?
You can sit on a subway in New York City and begin, without looking weird at all, to direct the force of loving-kindness to those around you. See a person as he was as a child in his original beauty. In a minute, your relationship to him becomes transformed and he’s connected with your heart. Another training, mindfulness of intention, is learning to take a few breaths before speaking to someone you’re in conflict with. Ask yourself, “What is my highest, or best, intention?” Your intention isn’t to be right or one-up the person, or defend yourself. Look into your heart, and it will show you that you’re looking for ways to connect and create bridges.

How do these practices connect us with others?

Mindful awareness practices are found in many ancient traditions: Hinduism, Buddhism, and mystical Christianity. As humans, we’ve always known about this capacity to live with a gracious, wise heart, and we’ve needed practices to help us do so, even in the ancient days. When we practice, we’re entering a stream of literally millions of humans before us who also awakened to the inner freedom, compassion, and dignity of their own true nature using the same disciplines passed down from warm hand to warm hand.

What is your current view and understanding of meditation and its effects?

My meditations used to be more directed, but they’ve become much simpler. I rest my attention in loving-kindness, an image or thought, or a part of the world or the body. I am very present in the world of unbearable beauty and an ocean of tears, and respond to it with what I can. Thich Nhat Hanh once said that on crowded refugee boats, if everyone panicked, all would be lost. If just one person remained calm, it showed a way for everyone to survive. I hope that my own meditation path lets me be one of those people on the beautiful boat of the world where we can share the love and centeredness so that everyone can survive.

There’s a remarkable new field, the science of inner transformation. Within this field, there are already thousands of studies on mindfulness showing the capacity for transforming the brain and nervous system. Even a little bit of training can start to reorganize the nervous system, and that transformation is possible for everyone. Some choose to emphasize hatha yoga or martial arts while, for others, it’s walking in mountains. All of them become vehicles for awakening a sense of the sacred.

What mantras do you like to use, if any?

I use a loving-kindness meditation at times, for inner recitation. When I encounter people, I use, “May you be well, may you be safe.” Sometimes, I use one from the Beatles: “Let it be.” I really take it to heart in a deep way when I recite that. There’s a way I’m letting the world be as it is, I know how to respond, and I don’t have to be worried or rushed. I feel what response comes from silence.

What inspires you to teach?

I love life. This earth. I feel more and more connected with everyone I meet. Teaching is a privilege. When we come together, we’re exchanging notes. It’s as if we’re all holding hands together as we all share what we know.

What question do students ask you the most?

Over 35 years, I’ve heard every kind of question, from “How do I work with mindfulness and my dog?” to “How do I deal with bringing a cancer I’m trying to heal from to a spiritual practice?” I’ve been asked, “How can I support my son, who’s been deployed to Afghanistan?” and “How do I deal with the overwhelm I feel when I watch the news because of all the concerns I have for the world?”

Each question is a person, and if I listen—and if we listen together with respect, tenderness, and interest to each person—kind of wisdom shows itself. Loving-kindness and compassion are central to the trainings I teach and can transform every part of your life. Other practices are important, too, like joy. It becomes important to understand not to put off happiness amid other pursuits and live in the reality of the present with a joyful heart.

What advice do you give people struggling with meditation?

Meditation presents challenges. Like other spiritual practices, it can be a grim duty that you impose on yourself. Or, in the course of healing, it can make you aware that you’re actually loyal to your suffering and are scared by the idea of how you’d be if you were to really live with joy. But living with joy is possible and, I believe, a birthright.

It can be a challenge to sit down to meditate. What arises is the unfinished business of life, tensions, grief or trauma, unspoken longing, unwept tears, and, without a deep understanding, you don’t know how to turn difficulties into a path of practice. With training, the fears, confusion, and agitation, we encounter become workable. We learn to liberate our energy and compassion.

If someone is having a challenging time, I have them close their eyes while we talk and have them feel what there is in that moment. I say, “Let’s ask what makes it so difficult to be present.” Often, it’s fear that they have to feel the grief of a relationship, or fear about what to do with anxiety about the future if they stop and listen to what they are actually feeling. When they do it with compassion, they realize they can live in the present. Become curious: what’s here that’s hard to experience? When you become curious, you discover all kinds of things. If anything, the world becomes more and more mysterious.

What should students expect from your upcoming Kripalu retreat?

It’s one of the most beautiful programs because it weaves together deep meditation, mindfulness, experiencing joy, the opening of heart, and finding inner freedom. It’s quite an intimate program. We spend the day together doing storytelling, meditation, question-and-answer sessions, and dialogue. Practicing together like this is one of the most satisfying teaching opportunities I’ve ever had. People become a community of spirit, as if we make a temple together.

I love how joyful and open people are by the end of the retreat, more content and compassionate. And they carry a wonderful set of tools back home to nourish them. I’ve had a woman with an eating disorder who said she tasted food for the first time. Another student was a mother who had conflict with her daughter for years, and, at the end of the retreat, she said, “I will live a life of forgiveness and start anew.” The practices we do bring out people’s dignity and joy, and their hearts get touched and filled. It’s beautiful to witness. A treasure.

Are you finding more and more diversity among your students these days?

I’m so happy that people with diverse ages and ethnic backgrounds are exploring meditation. It’s what the world needs. We are a marvelously, wildly diverse species—but at the core, we’re all humans with the same fundamental nature. Every child has a secret beauty and spirit that gets covered over as they age, but it can always shine underneath. All it takes are the right circumstances to reawaken their true selves. That sense of inner dignity and nobility is a basis for all the spiritual practice we do.

What are your goals as a teacher?

My goal is for people to awaken to their fundamental dignity, nobility, and freedom of the heart regardless of their circumstances. My goal is for them to remember how to love and bring compassion to all parts of their lives. Also, to give people ancient practices and tools in a modern form that they can use when they return to their everyday lives so they can quiet the mind, open the heart, and develop a spirit of compassion no matter where they are. So they can heal and transform themselves and learn to be their own enlightened master. My goal is for them to trust their innate wisdom.

Find out more about Jack Kornfield and his upcoming programs at Kripalu.

© Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health. All rights reserved.

REGRETS OF THE DYING ~ Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed by the regrets of dying people. It may be ordered through bookstores worldwide or from Balboa Press. Details for wholesale orders may be found on Bronnie’s official website.

Overview
After too many years of unfulfilling work, Bronnie Ware began searching for a job with heart. Despite having no formal qualifications or experience, she found herself in palliative care.

Over the years she spent tending to the needs of those who were dying, Bronnie’s life was transformed. Later, she wrote an Internet blog about the most common regrets expressed to her by the people she had cared for. The article, also called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, gained so much momentum that it was read by more than three million people around the globe in its first year. At the requests of many, Bronnie now shares her own personal story.

Bronnie has had a colourful and diverse past, but by applying the lessons of those nearing their death to her own life, she developed an understanding that it is possible for people, if they make the right choices, to die with peace of mind. In this book, she expresses in a heartfelt retelling how significant these regrets are and how we can positively address these issues while we still have the time.

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying gives hope for a better world. It is a story told through sharing her inspiring and honest journey, which will leave you feeling kinder towards yourself and others, and more determined to live the life you are truly here to live. This delightful memoir is a courageous, life-changing book.

The Greatest Truth Never Told: 19. Stage 1. Denial 20. Stage 2. Anger 21. Stage 3. Bargaining 22. Stage 4. Depression 23. Stage 5. Acceptance

19. Stage 1. Denial

20. Stage 2. Anger

Stage 3. Bargaining

22. Stage 4. Depression

23. Stage 5. Acceptance

How My Husband Taught Me To Enjoy Every Sandwich ~ Kathy Chang-Lipsenthal

When my husband was diagnosed in July 2009 with esophageal cancer — a disease with a 25% survival rate beyond 18 months — my initial instinct was to talk about inner strength. “You’re going to beat this,” I told him. “You’re strong. You’re healthy. You’re young.” I think I was trying to convince myself that he would be ok just as much as I was trying to comfort him.

In his serene way (the neurotic guy from NJ I’d married had become a lot more zen after discovering meditation in his early twenties), he immediately said to me, with a smile, that he was fine, that he was going to be okay, and that he was really more worried about us, his family. I was astounded. As physicians, we were taught in medical school about Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance.

“You can’t go right to acceptance!” I remember saying to him. “You have to be angry about this! You have to fight this!”

“I don’t feel the need to fight cancer,” he replied calmly. “Fight comes out of fear of dying. And I don’t have that fear.”

Don’t get me wrong. He was not exactly happy about having cancer. Of course, if he had a choice, he would have preferred to live, and not leave his loved ones. But I found it so incredibly amazing how at peace he was with this journey – not sure where it would take him, but going along with the ride anyway. He wasn’t fighting the disease; he wasn’t battling it. He was just living with it. While he was going through chemo and radiation, which were brutal, I felt helpless that I couldn’t help him. In addition to being a physician — a healer by trade — I’m someone who likes to be doing something all the time. It was hard for me to stand by and just hold his hand and love him. It didn’t feel like enough.

Throughout treatment, and in the ensuing months, there was a calm that came over him. He had always taught in his workshops and lectures to physicians, medical students and many others in health care that “today is a good day to die,” an age-old Native American adage. I think he found it curiously satisfying that in the face of death, he could continue to live each day as he had in the past 30 years, loving and appreciating family, friends, and life, and living without fear. As he reflected back over his life, he realized that he was not the same person as that anxious child growing up in New Jersey. Moreover, the lessons and skills he learned throughout the latter half of his life, living fully, with love and gratitude, freed him from feeling fear of the unknown. Asked if he had a bucket list when he was first diagnosed with the cancer, Lee replied without hesitation that he really did not. There was no need to travel to exotic countries, climb mountains, jump out of planes. He had lived his life, having loved and been loved. No regrets. This was the basis for his book.

On Sept. 20th, 2011, my husband Lee Lipsenthal–physician, teacher, healer, devoted father of two–passed away from complications of metastatic lower esophageal cancer. The miracle that I had hoped for did not happen. He was prepared to die, but I was not prepared to let him go. I miss him terribly every day. I have read, and re-read Lee’s book many times. I can hear his clear, strong yet soothing voice recounting our story, and my heart aches for him.

But I also take great comfort in reading Enjoy Every Sandwich. I am grateful for my life with this remarkable man, who loved and adored me unconditionally, and taught me to unconditionally love and adore him. I am reminded of our first dates, when at the end of an evening together, my abdominal muscles were sore from laughing. He continued to make me laugh throughout our married life, and I am grateful that he taught me how to savor every aspect of our life. I will always remember his genuine smile and hearty laugh.

Before he passed away, I promised Lee that I would help him spread his life-affirming message of the importance of practicing gratitude, connecting with our loved ones, and living each day to the fullest, to enjoy every sandwich, every ingredient, be it bitter, sour, spicy, or sweet, layered in that sandwich of life–a guaranteed path to a life well-lived.

For more information and to read an excerpt, visit www.enjoyeverysandwich.net

Eckhart on Unemployment

Question: For those of us who are unemployed and seeking employment, how do you stay connected to the Source, and to your own sense of divinity, and still deal with the reality and the drama and the pain of trying to find a job?

ET: It’s challenging. Challenges are good, potentially – they can either wake you up, or they can pull you into more reactivity, unconsciousness and suffering. Every challenge that comes into your life can go either this way, or that way. Potentially the challenge is very helpful. Challenge means limitation in one form or another. I’m certainly grateful for the challenges that came into my life. I wouldn’t be here, and many of you realize that without the challenges in your life, you wouldn’t be here either.

This is something I have a little bit of personal experience with also. Or maybe even quite a lot of personal experience – because for a large part of my adult life I was actually not employed, as such. For a large part I lived on relatively little, for quite a few years, even in my thirties, below the poverty line. At that time I read the paper, and it mentioned the income level for a single person, for what was considered to be below the poverty line, and I thought “I’m much below that!” But I didn’t realize I was “poor”. I realized that there were things I couldn’t afford to buy. I could buy tomato sauce but I couldn’t buy spaghetti sauce. Tomato sauce is cheaper, much cheaper. That stayed with me for many years. Even as recently as four years ago, I still find myself getting tomato sauce instead of spaghetti sauce because it’s cheaper.

There are practical things that you need to re-adjust and deal with. There’s some action you need to take, in order to adjust to the new situation; all that is in the practical realm. Then there is the mental realm. In the mental realm is where the suffering could arise, not in the practical realm. There’s no suffering in eating spaghetti with a thin tomato sauce – this is just one little example here, that stands for many things – rather than a nice, specially prepared sauce for pasta. But if, suddenly thought arises, and you think “this is what it has come to”, or “I have to eat this watery sauce, the cheapest food there is”, or “I’ve failed” or “I probably won’t find another job, because billions of people are now looking for jobs and it’s pointless” or “I’ll have to eat the same thing tomorrow” – and [these thoughts] are where the suffering comes from.

The suffering also comes from the diminished sense of self-worth, now where is that? Of course that’s in your head. “I’m useless”, or “I’m too old and nobody will employ me anymore” or “I should have had a better education”, whatever the thoughts are – it creates a diminished sense of self-worth. That is because your self-worth before was derived from your function in this world – which is a very normal thing. But it wasn’t really derived from your function, it was derived from what your mind told you about your function in this world. You derived your sense of self-worth from certain thoughts in your head, and you got perhaps some feedback from others who also told you that you were useful – you were part of all that interaction that people have when they have a job. You have a boss, the boss might tell you that you’re doing well, you’re getting a promotion, the clients love you, and so on – and you’ve built up your sense of self from your thoughts and the thoughts of others.

The opportunity now, when you have a diminished sense of self-worth, is to go to a deeper place where a sense of self-worth has nothing to do with what you are doing in this world. Nothing to do with what anybody tells you about yourself. It is a sense of self-worth or value that has nothing to do with the structure of thinking. You can use this challenge to see if you can find something – a deeper place in you – where there is something far greater than anything that could be derived from thinking about yourself.

When you lose your job, the self-image can be damaged. And that is where the suffering comes from. The self-image is made up of thinking. The damaged self-image can lead to more suffering, and it will just go on and on – and it can pull you deeper. And perhaps they will even say “yes, you’re right”. Or, you step out of deriving your sense of who you are – ultimately – from thinking. You go into the aliveness of Being, of Presence. And you realize that who you actually are is much more vitally there than anything you can think about.

The ideas in your head – the thoughts that tell you something about who you are and what you are worth – are ultimately illusory. It is illusory both when the thoughts are good, and when the thoughts are negative. The illusory nature can perhaps be more easily recognized when the thoughts become negative and cause suffering. Suffering can be an awakener.

Use that opportunity of a diminished sense of self-worth and self-image, and step beyond. Then, perhaps, you’ll find a job – but your sense of worth no longer depends on what you do there, or what you don’t do, or achieve or don’t achieve. You will find some transcendence, and you can bring that transcendence into your next job. The clinging to mental images is not there anymore. You’ll be surprised how well you’ll do, in your next job, when the clinging to images isn’t there anymore.

The success that you are more likely to encounter in that state of consciousness will not be the cause of your feeling of fulfillment because the fulfillment has already been found directly – in the present moment, in the depth of who you are. You no longer look to external situations to fulfill you. When you no longer look to external situations to fulfill you, the miracle is that external situations become quite fulfilling. That is where you can use this challenge as part of your awakening.

There is no suffering in the practical things. For a while I didn’t even have a home and I would just drift around. Fortunately, I had already stepped out of identification with money. If I had still been stuck in the mental box, it would have been a time of great suffering, because my mind would have told me certain things about myself, which I would have completely believed. “I have failed”, “I have thrown away all these opportunities that life has given me”, “I was a graduate student at a great university”, “I could have done great things”, “I’ve thrown it all away”, “Why did this happen to me”, “I’m useless”, “Nobody’s going to employ me” – that’s suffering.

Fortunately, I had already stepped out of that, so there was no suffering, just the situation of this moment. There was actually beauty and aliveness in it. Self-worth was no longer dependent on what I was doing in this world.

Any challenge, whether it’s that kind of challenge, or a physical challenge, whatever it may be – it can be used as the fire that burns up unconsciousness.

The 12 Keys of Spiritual Activism ~ Humanity Healing

Spiritual Activism is about reconnecting the concepts of personal spiritual growth and societal action. It is a mindset that comes from the awakening of our perception of the interconnectiveness of all living beings and the understanding that not only do our actions make a contribution to the world, they also foster our personal spiritual development. Spiritual Activism moves the mindset of the individual from one of “me” to one of “us” and towards a goal of selfless service to others. Selfless service does not differentiate between invisible acts of service to others and those that are recognized publically. It works towards the empowerment of others to not only solve the immediate problem, but to give the tools to prevent the repeat of the problem.

The embrace of the path of Spiritual Activism enables individuals or groups to develop the noble qualities of compassion, wisdom and gratitude. It is in itself a Path of Transformation – a Spiritual Blueprint for living. We can shift our perspectives of reality through seeking service beyond self by practicing the Gifts of Service.

“Yesterday is gone.
Tomorrow has not yet come.
We have only today.
Let us begin.”
~ Mother Theresa

“Where ever you are, be there totally.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

The embrace of the path of Spiritual Activism enables individuals or groups to develop the noble qualities of compassion, wisdom and gratitude. It is in itself a Path of Transformation – a Spiritual Blueprint for living. We can shift our perspectives of reality through seeking service beyond self by practicing the Gifts of Service. The core dynamics behind the Spiritual Keys of Activism are creativity, adaptability, understanding and the peaceful resolution of conflicts.

1. All Action MUST be based on Compassion

When championing a Cause, the mindset must be altruistic and the motivating emotion must be positive. Spiritual Activism is action for the benefit of something, not against something.

“When you have a pro-peace rally, I will be there.”

~ Mother Theresa’s response to a question about why she did not attend an anti-war rally.

2. Compassion flows from the understanding of the Connection between all living beings

We are all connected through our shared Humanity. When you learn to see that our differences are superficial and our similarities manifest, sympathy (or worse, pity) gives way to compassion. Our actions shift from one of “us helping them” to one of “for the good of All”. We become One.

“The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another.”

~ Thomas Merton

3. Compassion must be applied with Wisdom

There are more Causes that exist than an individual or group can possibly be involved with. It is important to choose your causes carefully. Learn to Act instead of React.

“That is true wisdom, to know how to alter one’s mind when occasion demands it.”

~ Terence

4. Apply synergy and teamwork to accomplish goals

Synergy is the process where two or more actions combine to produce an effect greater than the sum of its individual parts. Like ripples in a pond, spiritual actions combine and build on each other to magnify an effect beyond what each could do individually. Whenever possible, team up with others to acquire a multifaceted and more holistic approach.

“The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.”

~ Unknown

5. Spiritual Activism is the pursuit of service for the good of all, not for the advancement or benefit of individuals or selected communities

The mindset behind your actions must be noble, holistic, Universal and non-partisan. Be mindful that ego and self-service have no place in Spiritual Activism.

“Common folk, not statesmen, nor generals nor great men of affairs, but just simple plain men and women, can do something to build a better, peaceful world. The future hope of peace lies with such personal service.”
~ Henry Cadbury

“Reverence for Life affords me my fundamental principle of morality, namely, that good consists in maintaining, assisting, and enhancing life and that to destroy, harm, or to hinder life is evil. Affirmation of the world — that is affirmation of the will to live, which appears in phenomenal forms all around me — is only possible for me in that I give myself out for other life.”

~ Albert Schweitzer

6. Pursue Integrity, Honesty and Dignity in the conduct of your Actions

Embrace Mindfulness in the application of your activities and be aware of how your actions may be perceived by others. Machiavelli’s “The ends justify the means” has no place in Spiritual Activism. If our methods are not noble, our results will not be either. Practice Spiritual Transparency, allowing negative energies to bypass your system without harming it.

“Integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.”

~ Unknown

7. Do not defame your detractors or those who doubt you

A confrontational approach leads to a defensive reaction. Approach others with Openness and Compassion in your heart. Build on the commonalities between you instead of focusing on the differences. As much as possible, detach yourself from the results of your actions. Aspire to always be a Peacemaker.

“Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

8. Raising another up raises you up as well

Helping another becomes a form of self-love as well as an expression of outward love. This becomes an upwardly spiraling cycle of increasing awareness, connection, compassion, involvement, capacity, and back to increasing awareness.

“Oh, Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”
~Saint Francis Prayer

“Compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others.”
~ Pema Chodron

9. Learn to listen to your heart and not your mind

You mind may only see the problem. Your heart will always feel the solution. Learn to act with Faith and cultivate a loving perception when facing collective problems.

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

10. Search out viable and sustainable solutions

Seek out solutions that maintain or restores the dignity of individual human and their communities. The goal of Spiritual Activism is to raise another up, not make them dependant.

“Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.”
~ Jesus

“We have not inherited the world from our forefathers. We have borrowed it from our children.”
~ Kashmiri proverb

11. Do not judge yourself simply by the results of your actions

Maintain a sense of detachment as to overall results. Embrace mindfulness as you intentionally diminish a judging attitude while keeping watchfulness on the gates of your heart. The ultimate goal of Spiritual Activism is to unconditionally raise the understanding and support of Humanity, with no exceptions. This achievement is larger than any individual. While individual projects can be completed, the sum is so much greater than its parts. Learn to see yourself not on where you have reached, but on the Path you are traveling. There is real fulfillment in just being called to serve humanitarian and spiritual causes.

“Every man stamps his value on himself. Man is made great or small by his own will.”
~ JCF von Schiller

“ The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

12. Let Metta be the motivation for your Actions

If you cultivate Metta (the practice of loving-kindness) in your heart, you will succeed. The Intention that is the motivating force behind your actions is paramount. Start from a position of pure and altruistic Love.

“A positive future cannot emerge from the mind of anger of despair”
~ Dalai Lama

“Kindness in giving creates Love.”

~ Lao Tzu

© 2007 Humanity Healing

Permission given to use with proper credit given