David Welch: If you were going to attempt to describe God, what would you say ?


DAVID: Love…that’s all you need to say. I have a global question and let me frame it this way…

It could be said that climate change and a lot of the challenges Mother Earth is facing right now is because the masculine is running amok; in short, we are too patriarchal. So, my question is, how do we get society to embrace and incorporate the divine feminine. Basically, how do we get the planet back in balance?

TONY: Well, I think I’d start with ourselves, right? I mean, most individuals are not in balance. If you look at our culture, under stress, most women become masculine and most men become feminine. Most men try to please and give up for the woman in their life. Most women get more controlling and more directive. So, I think, when we’re talking about healing the planet, we’ve got to start by healing ourselves and if we heal ourselves then we’ll be better. If we live in those beautiful states, that is that healing. Right?

When you’re in a beautiful state, you have the mixture because we all have masculine and feminine inside of us. But they’re not at war when you’re in a beautiful state, right? And so, if you do that within yourself, then it’s easy to pass on to other people. Pass on to other people, and now they’re in a beautiful state. You have this domino effect. I really believe that’s where it starts. In a spiritual community, the feminine is seen as far superior. It’s the solution to all horrible things that the masculine did, and I think that’s complete bullshit. I think there are levels of masculine, just like there are levels of feminine. And levels of consciousness within them. And if your level I is masculine, you tell people what to do and you’re demanding and you’re an asshole.

You use your force power or your position power or whatever leverage you have…economic leverage…to make people do things. And that’s the part of the masculine everybody’s disgusted by. And it’s kind of abusive…women, children, men…the world. That’s not masculine energy; that’s infantile levels of masculinity—somebody who is not developed, right? Somebody who is Level II is more, that person who is trying to make everything fair: I’ll do my part, but you’ve got to do your part. And that really egalitarian approach seems beautiful, and it would, but in an intimate relationship, unless there’s a polarity of opposite energies, there’s zero passion. What really looks good for balance and equality doesn’t really create much of a relationship.

You have two people that have no passion and maybe a deep friendship. That’s where most people unfortunately end up. The third level of masculine is, your needs are my needs. Not, you’ve got to figure out your part, I’ll do my part, and I hope you do your part. That’s bullshit. And it’s not, you do what I tell you. It’s like, I feel what you need and I’ll figure out what that is and I’m going to make that happen…I’m lit up by lighting you up…I’m lit up…I love you, so…loving you…whatever action of loving you, is what fills me up. When you see that kind of masculine, that kind of masculine would die for those they love. That kind of masculine is what’s kept the world alive.

That kind of masculine is the beauty that firemen on 9/11 shot into that building, knowing most of them weren’t going to make it out. I think it’s absurd to say the feminine is better or the masculine is better. What we need is more mature feminine because immature feminine is totally manipulative and uses sexuality and uses manipulation to get what it wants. Balanced feminine says, I’ll do my part, you do your part. It’s truly wonderful, but we’re dead inside. And then, Level III feminine, which is, your needs are my needs, I’d die for you. You have two people who would do anything for one another. You’re not going to have any problems. Your problems and arguments are going to be about: you’re trying to do for them and they’re trying to do for you.

Trust me, I have experience with my wife. It’s the best argument you can ever have in your life. Very quality problem. But that’s…I think what it is…I think the spiritual community…most men in the spiritual community become extremely feminized. And it’s their reaction to the bad masculine things they think they’ve done and what they’ve done is they threw out the baby with the bathwater and I find them extremely weak very often ‘cause they’re running around trying to please everybody and…you know? There’s a great guy…I can’t think of his name…I’m sure you’ve seen him…have you ever seen that video on YouTube?…the guy does ultra-spiritual and does this whole element of how to be ultra-spiritual and walks through…like, you should stare in people’s eyes for extra long times so they’re uncomfortable…you should talk in really soft tones…and he does this like, comical piece that makes anybody that’s in the community laugh because you know it’s true.

To me, I’m like, you know…I walked around a monastery in India and people were going around…namaste. And I saw all these people who are completely full of shit. They were like, bad-mouthing some people behind them and I said, fuck you namaste. Don’t tell me namaste while you’re not even in that state! That’s spiritual materialism. You’re manipulating…you’re trying to use the environment to make yourself look good and you’re not good. Right? You know, it’s like, confront this man if you disagree with him! Confront him. Don’t talk behind their back and say namaste with this phony little smile. I mean, that’s horseshit. I do not prescribe to…we need the feminine to balance out the planet. I believe we need the masculine-feminine to mature to balance out the planet.

DAVID: It’s not just the feminine, it is the mature masculine-feminine that is needed to balance the planet?

TONY: And that to me, is a much more natural, healthy thing because those…yin and yang are both needed—they’re in all of us. You’re not all masculine and you’re not all feminine. What you want is to have them aligned and working together. It’s like having your head and your heart, you know? The head by itself can be real strategic but you’ll never enjoy an apple with your head because your head will go, but is it organic, and where did it come from, and what do I do with it? You don’t even taste the apple. But if you’re in your heart, if you’re in your spirit, you’re going to enjoy it. When those two are aligned, there’s an incredible force. So, that’s what I want to do with my priming also; it’s aligning. You do an EEG and an EKG and you can see when somebody is stressed out. The brain waves, the heart waves are jagging all over the place.

You take two minutes and you breathe in your heart as they teach in a variety of disciplines and all of a sudden you literally see the EEG and the EKG together—the brain and the heart literally become rounded and they become in-sync. And when they’re in-sync, that’s when you get the answer. It takes two minutes to get yourself there. It’s one of the ways I teach people. If you’re suffering, wake up to the fact that you’re suffering…ohhh, I’m suffering, isn’t this interesting? Take these deep breaths inside yourself, so you pull back from the event inside, to a deeper part of yourself, and breathe for two minutes with your hands on your heart. They taught it with HeartMath and HeartMath…proved it scientifically. Put your hands on your heart, put your focus on your heart for two minutes, think of something you’re grateful for. You see these changes in the brain and the heart where they become completely aligned and all of a sudden, you’ve got the answer. You’re no longer there.

You say all you really need to remember, all you need to experience here is what? And your brain will know the answer when the heart and the head are working together. I think it’s the same thing as getting the masculine and the feminine to work together, as opposed to capitulating and trying to make one better or worse than the other. We need both of them for aliveness. On this planet, you have the North and South Pole and they have a kind of electricity that keeps life. In an intimate relationship, you need…whether it’s two men or two women, or any sexual relationship. Even in a gay relationship—if there’s passion, there’s one that has more masculine energy and there’s one that has more feminine. If they’re just friends it can be the same. What makes a relationship work is sameness. Things in common. What makes it feel passionate is differences. And the most important differences are not value differences—those hopefully are aligned. The most important differences are opposite energies.

So, I’m not…I’ve said this several times in different ways here…I think it’s stupid for masculine people, whether they be women or men, to make that part of themselves wrong and try to become something else, as opposed to just appreciating all parts that are inside themselves and finding the good in them and finding how to mature the awareness or the awakening of that masculine. An awakened masculine is a force of nature that is extraordinary to this planet. An awakened feminine is a force of nature that is extraordinary to this planet. But becoming one over the other will just throw you. It’s like having a bad relationship and you know that one was terrible, so you go to the other extreme and you’re equally screwed up. That’s what I see people do in the spiritual community. That’s my little riff on this.

DAVID: I like that little riff. And, what I’m hearing you say is, if I want to affect climate change, if I want to affect the planet, the first thing I do is to start with myself, in a relationship with myself, because I’m both masculine and feminine. Then, I start with my family and primary relationships, all of my….

TONY: And then there are choices that, you know, could have an impact on them. Making sure that they’re consistent for you.

DAVID: And what consistent choices would those be?

TONY: You have to fundamentally decide what you’re going to believe. Are you going to live in fear and focus on what you can control, or can’t? Are you going to focus on what I’m saying or are you going to focus on what my talking reminds you of in your own life? Are you going to focus on something you’re going to have for lunch? Whatever you focus on, you’re going to feel, even if it’s not true. And people have patterns that they focus on. Some people focus on what’s missing from their life. Some people focus on what they have. Some people focus on what they can control.

Some people focus on what they can’t control. If you’re always focused primarily on what you can’t control and what’s missing, then you’re going to be depressed. I don’t care how many…in a room of 10,000 people, I’ll ask, “how many of you know someone who takes antidepressants and is still depressed?” And 90% of them raise their hands: 90% of the room! Now, those antidepressants have side effects, like suicidal thoughts. It’s right on the box. But, why isn’t it working? Because if you keep focusing on what is missing or on what you can’t control, then you’re going to be depressed. Another pattern is, you focus more on the past, the present or the future. If you’re focused only on the past and what you can’t control and what’s missing, you’re going to…I don’t care how great life is or how many drugs somebody gives you, you’re going to still end up being depressed. You’ve got to get to the source of it. And the source is always the pattern of thinking that produces a pattern of emotion. You change those two things, you can change everything.

DAVID: I completely agree.

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