Awakened Relating: A Guide to Embodying Undivided Love in Intimate Relationships by Lynn Marie Lumiere MFT (Author)

Our natural state is to love and be loved. From deep within, we’re compelled to seek connection. Yet relationships remain a struggle—even for the most spiritually enlightened among us. Traumatic experiences, insecure attachment, and especially the false but commonly held belief that we are separate, both from each other and from the love we seek, can cause endless problems in relationships. As long as our connections are built on this untruth, lasting love and harmony in relationship will elude us. Awakened Relating can help.

Written by a licensed therapist and pioneer in bringing the most direct teachings of non-duality into the practice of psychotherapy, this book offers practical guidance for improving relationships through “awakened relating”—a more enlightened experience of falling in love, communication, conflict resolution, and sexuality. With examples, guidelines, and experiential inquiries for realizing your true nature, this book will dispel common myths and mistaken beliefs about intimacy and help you cultivate a loving relationship with yourself and others.

Including inspirational stories of people who practice awakened relating in their own lives, this book will show you how to identify, transform, and resolve the deep psychological issues that prevent you from having the harmonious, loving relationships you seek. Now is the time to realize the deep and ever-present love that exists within and all around you.

Lynn Marie Lumiere, MFT, is a seasoned psychotherapist with a focus on transforming issues at their source through dissolving the belief in separation that creates and sustains them. She is dedicated to awakening consciousness and meeting life’s challenges as doorways to greater freedom. Her work is sourced in over forty years of dedicated spiritual and psychological exploration, as well as almost thirty years of marriage and practicing psychotherapy. This experience led her to the understanding that no matter what the problem, transformation and freedom from suffering is possible when we tap into the infinite and ever-present source of Love. She has been especially interested in applying this understanding to healing relationships and trauma.

Lynn Marie has been involved in the exploration of non-dual wisdom and psychotherapy since it began in 1998. She is a repeat presenter at the annual Nondual Wisdom and Psychology Conference and the Science and Nonduality (SAND) Conference, and is a contributing author to The Sacred Mirror. Lynn Marie is also coauthor (with John Lumiere-Wins) of The Awakening West. Her primary spiritual teacher is Adyashanti, and she has studied with many other teachers from non-dual, Buddhist, and Hindu traditions. She lives in Grass Valley, CA.

For information about Lynn Marie and events she offers, please visit It is her intention to offer support for learning and experiencing awakened relating.

A Duet of One: Nonduality and Intimate Relating, Lynn Marie Lumiere

True intimacy is the One celebrating itself as two. There is nothing more intimate than directly knowing that we are one Being and consciously sharing that together. Although we all long for this intimate union, it cannot be found through relationship or sexuality that is based on a belief in separation and duality. In order to experience true love and intimacy we must come to know our nondual nature and begin to embody that in our relating. This presentation will explore how to embody nondual realization in intimate relationship in practical, real life ways, such as bringing nondual understanding into communication and conflict. The
root cause of all relational disharmony can be traced to the belief in duality, which leads us to seek love outside our self in others. Once the source of the problem is known and true love is awakened within us, it is possible to fully resolve relational issues related to our wounding and conditioning. When we bring the whole truth, absolute and relative, to our relating, relationship becomes a joyful meeting in our shared Being with a vast potential for further healing and awakening.

Lynn Marie Lumiere, MFT is a nondual psychotherapist with a focus on awakening consciousness and meeting life’s challenges as doorways to greater freedom. Lynn Marie has been one of the pioneers in the emerging field of Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy since the first conference in 1998, which she helped organize. She is a contributing author for the Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy as well as Undivided: The Online Journal of Nonduality and Psychology. She is co-author of The Awakening West: Evidence of a Spreading Enlightenment and is the author of a new book, Undivided Love: A Guide to Awakened Relating

Why Are We Pulled Towards Negativity? | Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Published on May 29, 2018

In this video, Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar deciphers negativity. Understand why and how we get attracted and addicted to negative things.
Gurudev also elaborates on the thin line between pleasure and pain and shares wisdom on how to refrain from it.

Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar founded The Art of Living as an international, non-profit, educational and humanitarian organization in 1982. Its educational and self-development programs offer powerful tools to eliminate stress and foster a sense of well-being through powerful breathing techniques such as Sudarshan Kriya and Yoga. Appealing not only to a specific population, these practices have proven effective globally at all levels of society.

How to Protect yourself getting Lost in the world of things – Eckhart Tolle

The Main Reason You are Lost
How to Protect yourself getting Lost in the world of things. Eckhart Tolle.

The existential wound……Rupert Spira

Exploring ‘matter’

Dean Sluyter – Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

Published on 28 May 2018
Discussion of this interview in the BatGap

Dean Sluyter (pronounced er”) has taught natural methods of meditation and awakening since 1970. His five highly acclaimed books include Natural Meditation: A Guide to Effortless Meditative Practice (Amazon #1 stress management bestseller, and Nautilus Gold Medal winner for best mind-body-spirit book) and Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction. Dean gives talks, workshops, and retreats throughout the United States and beyond, from Ivy League colleges to maximum-security prisons. His media appearances have included National Public Radio, The New York Times, New York Magazine, Coast to Coast AM, The Dr. Oz Show, and O, The Oprah Magazine.

A grateful student of Eastern and Western sages in several traditions, Dean has completed numerous pilgrimages and retreats in India, Tibet, Nepal, and the West. He is known for conveying authentic teachings in forms that are relaxed, accessible, and down-to-earth. When not writing or teaching, he plays the ukulele and happily rides his Vespa through the streets of Santa Monica.

Buddha & Enlightenment – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

When Lord Buddha got enlightened, he was silent for seven days…he didn’t say a word. All the Gods and the angels got worried that he is not saying anything. They pleaded him to say something, because what he says will benefit people for ages to come.

Lord Buddha came 2,500 years after Lord Krishna, and if he doesn’t say anything, what will happen? One of the Gods, Lord Brahma went to Buddha and said, “Please say something.”

Lord Buddha then said, “Those who know it, you don’t need to tell them. For those who do not know, there is no point in telling them because they are ignorant. Any amount of telling them will not be of any use. They are in the small mind.”

Then the angels told Buddha that there are some who are in the middle; they know a little bit and yet, they don’t know a lot. When they hear you, they can move towards the higher truth. Thus, they convinced Lord Buddha, and then he started speaking. He travelled all over India and spoke for 32 years. In those days, there were no airplanes, otherwise he would have come to Japan also. His only intention was to bring compassion and inner peace to the people of the world.
Each one of us have a ‘Buddha’ inside of us.

If you ask me, “Is it possible? Isn’t it too difficult?” The answer is – yes, it is possible and no, it is not too difficult.

The formula is:
1. Having clarity in mind, purity in heart, and sincerity in action.
2. Keeping a smile and doing meditation.
3. Seeing life from a bigger perspective.

We have been on this planet many times; life is much bigger than just a few incidents. We should not let our mind get stuck in events, incidences and people. We have to sail through them all, and then our smile will be stronger. Otherwise, you get one phone call, and all your joy goes away. You cannot afford to be like that. When you expand your mind and shift the context for your life, you become so strong, stable, solid and yet, so soft. Then there is nothing that can shake you
Source: Wisdom

Relationship and Relating – Leonard Jacobson

May 26, 2018

Relationships by their very nature are based in the past and future. They exist as a construct of the mind…
We feel more secure in relationship because we believe others will be there for us in the future, which helps us escape from the pain of being alone. It helps us escape the pain of separation and the pain of living in a world where no one is truly present.

But this mechanism of escape will take you out of Presence and imprison you within the mind. Then you will be caught in the past. You will bring your incomplete relationships from the past, particularly with your mother and father, and project them onto your current relationships.

You will project all your unhealed wounds and unfulfilled needs into your relationships. Then your relationships will become contaminated with expectation, resentment, blame, guilt, judgment and issues of control.

Relating can only be in this moment. No past. No future. With relating there is no projection of the past onto the present. And there is no anxiety about what might happen in the future.

When you relate to someone, you are present. You are spontaneous and you have no expectations. There is no attachment because you are focused in the moment rather than in the past or future.

This does no mean that you cannot live with someone and share a life together. It just means that the focus will be much more on relating than on relationship.

With relating there is no ownership. There are no guarantees of security. You cannot be sure that the person with whom you are relating will be there for you in the future. But that keeps you alive and vibrant. It keeps you at the edge of the unknown. It prevents you from taking each other for granted.

In relationship, you gain security by owning each other. He is mine. She is mine. The ownership kills you and it kills the relationship. Ownership brings with it control, restriction and limitation which deadens you to life.

It is only by allowing yourself to live in a state of not-knowing that you remain open to life and feel fully alive. Each new moment is pregnant with the unknown. If you can live with the unknown, then sooner or later, you will enter into the unknowable.

Excerpt from “Words from Silence” (Revised Edition) by Leonard Jacobson. pp.156-157, 160
Source: Awaken

Souls in Other Selves and the Immortality of the Body

Published on 26 .5. 18
0:30 – Foerster Lecture Background
3:02 – Introduction – Paula Varsano
8:52 – Main Talk – Marilyn Strathern
1:12:03 – Audience Questions

Sometimes the soul seems a more precise concept than the body. In this lecture Marilyn Strathern, goes to a place and time where all kinds of beings (including food plants) have souls and where the bodily basis of life is immortalized through cloning. She comments on the way present-day anthropology brings fresh illumination to what we thought we knew. Series: “UC Berkeley Graduate Lectures”

The Innate Peace of Our Essential Being – Rupert Spira

Published on 25 May 2018
A man asks Rupert how he would talk to one of his loved ones if they were dying.

Shawn Nevins ‘The Way Of Subtraction’ Interview by Iain McNay”

Published on 24 May 2018
Shawn Nevins ‘The Way Of Subtraction’ Interview by Iain McNay
Shawn is author of four books including ‘Subtraction: The Simple Math Of Enlightenment.‘ In the foreword he says, ‘This book answers the question of how to find out the answer to who and what you are beyond any shadow of a doubt.’ His spiritual search ended on December 28th 1999 having started 7 years earlier. During that time he meditated for thousands of hours, fasted, prayed, retreated, met spiritual teachers, and never gave up.
His primary teacher was Richard Rose but he also spent time with Bernadette Roberts, Douglas Harding and others. His breakthrough came when he read through a transcript of a talk by Franklin Merrell-Wolff.
Shawn’s story has many ups and downs. His sincerity during his search shines through and his many realisations on his path are tangible.

Jason Shulman – Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

Jason Shulman is an American spiritual teacher whose original work springs from his Judaic and Buddhist background. He is the founder of A Society of Souls: The School for Nondual Healing and Awakening, based in the United States and the Netherlands.

There he teaches the distinctive body of nondual work he has developed to awaken the human spirit: Nondual Healing, Impersonal Movement and the Work of Return. Jason’s main concern has been to develop paths of healing the mind, body and spirit based on his own understanding of the difficulties inherent in the human condition. Through his studies and practice, Jason has developed a unique perspective on human consciousness and the nature of existence. His works seeks to translate this perspective into a replicable and clearly delineated path for other seekers of truth to follow. He has been especially interested in applying personal spiritual work into methods of transforming society at large.

To that end, he has created the MAGI Process, a nondual method of working with conflicts between people, institutions and governments. He is the author of numerous monographs and books and several albums of his work as a singer and songwriter. More about his work can be found at

Is There a Shortcut to Enlightenment? ~ Igor Kufayev

In this introduction Igor Kufayev speaks of the necessity of energetic transformation irrespective of the chosen path to self-realisation

Alan Watts ~ Try To Live In The Moment (Ship Analogy)

Published on 13 May 2018
It’s easy to blame our past for the mistakes we make in the present, but that’s no way to live a satisfying life.

The Courage to Face Yourself – Amoda Maa

In this video – Amoda talks about the true spiritual path as the willingness to face yourself completely, without denying or avoiding any part of your experience.

All Times Take Place Now ~ Rupert Spira

A young boy asks how prediction can be possible if time does not exist

Is it possible to Change in 24 Hours? Eckhart Tolle

Mike Kewley ‘You Are Not What You Think…’ Interview by Iain McNay

Mike was obsessed with becoming enlightened since childhood – for him that was the point of living. He knew from an early age that the voice in his head wasn’t him. He had some terrifying experiences of no-self which led to panic attacks and depression. Eventually he decided that he needed to drop the desire for enlightenment and somehow fix his life; after a time, he was much happier. He then had the experience that ended his search for enlightenment. Mike said, “There’s just the impersonal flow of awareness being everything without exception, no way to get it and no way to get out of it. It basks in the ordinary and mundane as well as the fireworks.”

Love As An Advanced Mode Of Intelligence

What is love? It is a question sure to elicit a great many responses. Simply defined, love is an affection, attraction, admiration or other strong, positive feeling for another person, thing or idea. From a metaphysical or philosophical perspective, love is more of a complex interweaving of many emotions, behaviors and intangibles whose origin, influence and potential has been food for thought over thousands of years and likely will be for thousands more to come.

People the world over can at least agree on what some of the most cherished forms of love are: romantic love for another and the love shared by children and parents, siblings and friends. So, too do such loves as love of life, nature and country rank high on a very long list.

People today and perhaps in every generation likely would concur that love is something we all could use more of in our lives and throughout the world. And, in our heart of hearts, more than a few of us would concede to an inner desire to be more loving toward others.

Isn’t Love a Form of Intelligence?
One way of creating more love in ourselves and the world could be to have a greater understanding of what love is.

Love has been called the greatest force in the universe, the answer to all things and the stuff that makes the world go round. Certainly there are lots of good arguments to made for any of these.

But what of the notion that love is an actual form of intelligence, some would say an advanced mode of intelligence? How exactly would such an argument be framed? Because, after all, isn’t love merely a feeling that comes from within, albeit a strong or deeply held one?

For instance, a common way people express their love for one another, this thing or that thing is to do it “with all their heart,” not all their mind/brain (i.e. intelligence). Historically, this line of thought assumes, of course, that intelligence is purely within the realm of the brain in your head – until relatively recently.

Researchers at HeartMath Institute and many others around the world now believe, based on scientific studies, that a great deal of human intelligence is heart intelligence. As numerous as the studies demonstrating this are, for most people, it only takes one simple observation in their daily lives for a clear example of their hearts’ intelligence: How many times has the brain in your head told you to do one thing while your heart advised another? No doubt, experiencing an actual physical feeling in the heart when torn between one direction or another has left many a skeptic of listening to your heart at least somewhat skeptical of their skepticism.

How strong is the power or intelligence of love? Here is a scientific experiment HMI researchers who wondered about this conducted several years ago.

A boy, Josh, and his dog, Mabel, were placed in a room together. Then Josh moved to a separate room, the result of which was that the dog’s monitored heart rhythms were chaotic and incoherent, unlike with Josh in the room. Josh was instructed to use a coherence technique to consciously feel feelings of love and care for Mabel, which he did upon re-entering the room with her and while having no physical contact with her. Mabel’s heart rhythms quickly became smooth and stable, or coherent.

How many millions of people with pets throughout history can relate to that?

To Love and Be Loved
Whether we learn to love because of how we are raised, or we are loving at birth, the simple fact is that at some point in life, pretty much everyone has a desire to love and be loved.

Love indeed was the guiding ideal and purpose for the creation of organizations like HeartMath Institute. Twenty-five years ago HMI’s founders set out with a guiding principle that love should permeate everything the institute undertook – in its research of stress, heart intelligence, positive emotions and much more since then.

In the recently released HeartMath book, Heart Intelligence, the authors note in part, “As collective consciousness increases, this will eventually reveal that love is an advanced mode of intelligent living. People have just scratched the surface of awareness regarding the focused power of love and its capacity to create a heart- based environment; one where individuals can transcend fear and what it brings, while manifesting their undiscovered gifts and fulfillment.”

Discovering love and how to be more loving have been the topics of countless books, meditations, workshops, etc. HeartMath has always believed and advised a very active approach to achieving greater love. All of its tools and technologies developed through the years ultimately have been aimed at creating more love – personally, in our families, workplaces and communities and globally as well. This has been especially true with the Global Coherence Initiative.

One of the best examples of these is the Heart Lock-In Technique, a powerful tool included here not only to illustrate the point, but also in the spirit of love.

Heart Lock-In Technique†
Step 1. Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

Step 2. Activate and sustain a regenerative feeling such as love, appreciation, care or compassion.

Step 3. Radiate that renewing feeling to yourself and others.

† From HeartMath’s Heart Intelligence book.

Consider this further thought from Heart Intelligence: “Unconditional love is the next vibration of love that humanity is transitioning into and this will eliminate much of the standard complications and problems that seem to form around love’s powerful transformational energy.”

The Benefits of Love
It makes perfect sense that one’s life might generally improve when love in any of its forms first enters. For instance in the case of romantic love for another, love for a newborn, etc. But research shows there are some pretty great benefits that accompany the experience of not only love, but also of appreciation, care, compassion and other positive emotions HeartMath calls qualities of the heart. Among them are:

Longer life span
Lower stress levels
Decreased incidence of a number of heart-related maladies.
Lower rates of diabetes.
Improved mental capacity, including clarity of thought.
Improved test-taking ability for students and overall academic success

Source:Heart Math

A Full Collapse of the Sense of Separation ~ Rupert Spira

A woman wants to know what makes people fall in love with one person versus another.

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