Relationships are the greatest Spiritual Practice – Eckhart Tolle

Greatest Spiritual Practice
Relationships are the greatest Spiritual Practice. Eckhart Tolle.


Relationship and Relating – Leonard Jacobson

May 26, 2018

Relationships by their very nature are based in the past and future. They exist as a construct of the mind…
We feel more secure in relationship because we believe others will be there for us in the future, which helps us escape from the pain of being alone. It helps us escape the pain of separation and the pain of living in a world where no one is truly present.

But this mechanism of escape will take you out of Presence and imprison you within the mind. Then you will be caught in the past. You will bring your incomplete relationships from the past, particularly with your mother and father, and project them onto your current relationships.

You will project all your unhealed wounds and unfulfilled needs into your relationships. Then your relationships will become contaminated with expectation, resentment, blame, guilt, judgment and issues of control.

Relating can only be in this moment. No past. No future. With relating there is no projection of the past onto the present. And there is no anxiety about what might happen in the future.

When you relate to someone, you are present. You are spontaneous and you have no expectations. There is no attachment because you are focused in the moment rather than in the past or future.

This does no mean that you cannot live with someone and share a life together. It just means that the focus will be much more on relating than on relationship.

With relating there is no ownership. There are no guarantees of security. You cannot be sure that the person with whom you are relating will be there for you in the future. But that keeps you alive and vibrant. It keeps you at the edge of the unknown. It prevents you from taking each other for granted.

In relationship, you gain security by owning each other. He is mine. She is mine. The ownership kills you and it kills the relationship. Ownership brings with it control, restriction and limitation which deadens you to life.

It is only by allowing yourself to live in a state of not-knowing that you remain open to life and feel fully alive. Each new moment is pregnant with the unknown. If you can live with the unknown, then sooner or later, you will enter into the unknowable.

Excerpt from “Words from Silence” (Revised Edition) by Leonard Jacobson. pp.156-157, 160
Source: Awaken

Marianne Williamson: How the Universe Views Intimate Relationships

Love can be the most exhilarating human emotion one can experience. It can change life in an instant and take us places we never dreamed possible. But love can also shatter our heart, trigger old wounds and cause indescribable pain.

Both sides of the coin are reasons to celebrate, according to best-selling author, Marianne Williamson, who explained this and more, from the perspective of “A Course in Miracles,” during “The Enchanted Love Workshop: Building the Inner Temple of the Sacred and the Romantic,” which took place in Los Angeles, as well as worldwide via live streaming on the Internet.

“’The Course in Miracles’ does not claim to have a monopoly on truth,” she told the audience on the first evening of the conference. “It is based on universal, spiritual themes found at the heart of all great religious teaching. It’s not doctrine. It’s not dogma. It’s principles.”

This particular weekend conference focused on love and relationships – an area most people struggle in, no matter what their spiritual practice. Over time, many of us can see clearly where we may be heading off course in our lives, but when it comes to intimate love, “it’s so easy to be insane and think you’re not,” she said. “We get involved with romantic drama, and all the spiritual stuff goes out the window.”

Having written a book called “Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships,” Williamson decided to run a workshop based on the Course’s view of intimate relationships, and the goal of transitioning them from ego-based to spirit-based.

“The Course says relationships are assignments made in order to increase the maximum soul growth of both people,” she explained. “It is as though a giant machine somewhere sees where you are wounded, and then picks out the person and situation in all of the universe in combination with whom you would most likely be healed.”

Looking at this from the ego’s perspective, we often believe there is one special person out there who will heal us and fill us with everything we are lacking in life. We also believe this person will never push our buttons or trigger our wounds – be it from childhood or past relationships – but instead will behave exactly as we need them to because we are so wounded, she said.

“The ego sees the assignment as someone who will give me what I think I need to compensate for the lack that exists in me. But the universe is invested in your soul growth, not in your imagined need. The universe knows you have no need other than to remember you already are and have everything,” Williamson said.

Unlike the ego, the universe’s idea of a perfect relationship is not someone who will stay away from our bruises or triggers, but actually someone who will bring our wounds to the surface in order to heal them. “To double the perfection, it will not only be a perfect assignment in which to address your wounds, but also the perfect assignment in which to address theirs,” she explained.

Intimate relationships exist to bring up all of our wounds, triggers and childhood issues. It brings shadows of the past – whether it’s our mother, father, brother, sister or ex-lover – into our current relationship, and instead of seeing the man or woman in front of us, subconsciously we are seeing the person who invalidated us, she said.

“We heal through a detox process. Sometimes you will think, ‘Wow, I haven’t had that issue in a while,’ when really it’s just that it hasn’t been triggered. It wasn’t healed, it just wasn’t brought up,” she said, explaining until we find healing, the issue will continue to show up for us. However, there are times we are meant to stay in the relationship to heal, and times where the healing needs to take place apart.

“Relationships are never over. The Course says all who meet will someday meet again until the relationship becomes holy. There are phases in a relationship where there is silence or you are not in physical proximity with one another anymore, and this can actually be very helpful,” she said. “Sometimes work is going on even more powerfully when two people are not talking. If you do the work, know that he or she is still feeling it.”

However, if we don’t do the work to heal the wounds, we will carry them into the next moment or next relationship, and will continue to attract the same circumstances until the work is done.

“It’s not that you attract a certain type of man – it’s that you are attracted to that certain type of man so you can heal,” Williamson noted.

Source: Elevated Existence

Marianne Williamson ~ The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships

Real Relationships in a Virtual World by Ruth Wilson

October 26, 2017
How to create deeper connections in a virtual workplace.

I retired from teaching a number of years ago and now work with a non-profit organization where everything is done in a virtual environment. This was a new experience for me. I knew from the beginning that the technical aspects of the virtual workplace would be challenging. I had a lot to learn about teleconferencing and webinars, storing information in a cloud, and using Dropbox and virtual folders instead of file cabinets and manila folders. What I didn’t anticipate was the aloneness I felt. While the internet and world wide web are quite efficient in connecting us across time, miles, and languages, they come with the challenge of staying connected at deeper levels.

I appreciate the way our computers can to talk to each other; but the world wide web remains a service, not a team of people. The internet can never be a replacement for face-to-face contact. Some organizations look for ways to make the virtual working environment more personal. Several months ago, the team I work with decided to develop a “values statement” as a reminder that, while our work place is virtual, the people we work with aren’t.

We devoted several of our bi-weekly meetings to developing our values statement. We started by each sharing one personal value and briefly describing how we bring this value to our work. Examples of personal values include honesty, enthusiasm, innovation, respect, and happiness. From this list of personal values, we developed our values statement: “We invest in our team to spur personal growth and excellence in a culture of fun, innovation, respect, passion and commitment to a common goal.” I like the way this statement promotes both personal growth and excellence in our work as a team.

We then initiated several practices to help us live our values. For staying connected on a personal level, we tried using google hangout for monthly “happy hours.” Different time zones and people’s varied schedules made this difficult for everyone to participate, so we switched to a different format. We now start our staff meetings with a brief sharing of “news and celebrations.” This sharing has varied from celebrating personal and professional accomplishments to announcements about getting a new puppy. We’ve also shared information about books we’re reading and places we’ve visited. We recently instituted a “Weekly Team Brief”—an online newsletter to helps us share and stay informed of any new developments in our respective initiatives.

I’ve now worked in a virtual environment for over a year. I still miss the face-to-face interactions, but I no longer feel isolated. I value the relationships I have with my team members and continue to invest time and energy in keeping these relationships strong over time. While the keys to meaningful relationships span the “in person” and virtual worlds, I’ve found they become even more critical when using technology to communicate. I’ve developed a few reminders to help me stay real and personal in a virtual world.

I call these the “three R’s”—reach out, respond, request.

1. Reach out to stay connected. While I work remotely and have siblings and daughters living a distance from me, I make a point of reaching out to team members and families frequently. It’s sometimes just a “checking in” with a short email, but I also make a point of calling fairly often. A real conversation, I find, strengthens a relationship more than email threads.

2 Respond with respect and warmth. We all know that a true conversation involves both listening and speaking—that without the listening, there is no real conversation. With each email I receive from a colleague, friend, or family member, I try to engage a listening ear before responding. To me, listening is a form of respect. I also try to include a touch of warmth in my response. After all, it’s a person—not a machine—that I’m responding to. Finally, I’ll add a spark if this feels appropriate. By spark, I mean something interesting or an element of humor. I avoid overdoing this, as there are no visual cues to show me how the recipient is feeling.

3. Request the opinions and support of others. People who work remotely often take pride in their independence and ability to figure things out on their own. They tend to avoid “bothering” others on the team. Yet, we should never be afraid to ask for advice and help. The entire team and individuals on the team are usually energized by supporting each other.
I now feel connected with my team members in both a professional and personal way. Each one means more to me than the role they play in the organization. While our workplace remains virtual, the relationships are real.

Gangaji: Here to Love One Another

TaraTalks: Mirroring the Gold in One Another

Published on Sep 19, 2017

TaraTalks: Mirroring the Gold in One Another – with Tara Brach

In our relating with others, how do we deepen our attention so that a place in us regularly scans for “What do you need right now? How can I respond in a way that reminds you that you belong?”

The Purpose of Relationship is Death of the Separate Self

Amoda Maa Jeevan
Published on Sep 11, 2017

Relationship requires you to put down the strategies of war, to let go of the need to be right. The end of war in relationship is the beginning of true love.

The Cure for Insecurity in Relationships

The Seven Requirements Of Love ~By Andrew Harvey

Image: Tomasz Alen Kopera

How to Develop an Evolutionary Relationship

It is critical to remember that this crisis we are facing is a crisis in which the sacred powers of love in the human soul are being diverted by distraction, by greed, by ignorance, by the pursuit of power, so that they never irrigate the world and transform it. What is needed is a vision of evolutionary relationship as a relationship that helps us come into the real, take responsibility for it, and enact our sacred purpose with a partner, and for the world: when two lovers come together in this dynamic love consciousness, they create a transformative field of sacred energy, from which both can feed to inspire their work in reality.

There are seven requirements necessary for evolutionary love to emerge in the world.

There are seven requirements necessary, I believe, for this tremendously potent vision of evolutionary love to emerge in the world.

Devotion to the Divine

The first requirement is that both beings need to be plunged individually into a deep and passionate devotion of the Beloved, by whatever name they know the Beloved, because without both beings centering their life in God, the relationship will never be able to escape the private circle. From the very beginning it must be centered in the Divine. It must be a relationship that is undertaken in the conscious presence of the Divine for the Divine’s great work in the Universe. Only a relationship that is centered in this higher power, and that has the Divine as the prime actor in the relationship, will be able to bear the vicissitudes of authentic love, of dealing with the challenges of life and service in the world.

Master of Solitude

The second requirement for an evolutionary love is that both beings must develop a mastery of solitude. In his Letters to a Young Poet,

Rilke wrote:

Authentic love is where two solitudes border, protect, and salute each other.

They ‘border’ each other, they don’t infiltrate each other’s domain. They ‘protect’ because they realize that the solitude that each one has is the source of inner wealth and inner revelation; they ‘salute’ because they understand that the work of solitude, the work that goes into solitude, the heart work, the yearning, the longing, the deep contemplation of one’s gifts and one’s faults, is a sacred work that is the secret foundation of healthy relationship. In too many relationships in our current narcissistic model, what threatens the person most is the solitude of the other. In a true evolutionary relationship, what can exhilarate one person the most is the other’s solitude, because they know that solitude has the potential to make them a billionaire of generosity, of insight, and of creativity.

Authentic love is where two solitudes border, protect, and salute each other.

Equality of Power

The third requirement is that in a true evolutionary relationship there is an equality of power, and that equality is born out of a profound experience of the sacredness and dignity of the other person’s soul. This new relationship that is trying to be given to us by the Mother is what I call the beloved-beloved relationship. One person isn’t the beloved and the other only the lover. Both partners recognize in each other the unique face that the Divine is turning to them in order to bring them the essence of divine truth, which is embodied love. From that recognition of each other as the Beloved flows a natural movement of passionate honoring and service of the other’s life. This gives each person the freedom and the energy and the joy that they need to go out into the world and fulfill their destiny. This is crucial because in the past there has been a vision of inequality of power. Now what’s emerging is the mutual recognition of holiness and sacredness expressed in tantric rapture, in an adoration and worship of the other in the core of life.

A Sacred Enterprise

The fourth requirement follows on from the third: if you are going to have a beloved-beloved relationship, you have to center your whole being and work and evolution in God. You have to be a master of your own solitude so that you can work on what is necessary to deepen that sacred relationship of the Divine. You must also bring the sacred practice of prayer and meditation into the very core of your life, so that the whole relationship can be enfolded in a mutually shared sacred enterprise.

A beloved-beloved relationship involves a sacred relationship with the Divine.

Acceptance of the Shadow

The fifth requirement is that both lovers completely abandon any Hollywood sentimentality about what relationships actually are. As love becomes more evolutionary and conscious, so does each lover’s understanding of each other’s shadow. One of the essential roles of this new love is to make each person in the relationship the safe-guarder of the other’s shadow—not the judge of the other’s shadow, not the denier of the other’s shadow, but someone who recognizes where the other has been wounded, and safeguards and protects them with unconditional compassion without allowing themselves to be mauled or manipulated by the other. This takes an immense effort, because it takes an immense effort to understand your own shadow, and an even greater effort to face and comprehend, without illusion, denial or repulsion, the shadow of the other.

Death and Rebirth

The sixth requirement is that if you are going to enter into the evolutionary process, you have to accept that it never ends, never stops unfolding. Evolution is fundamentally a death/rebirth cycle that repeats itself in higher and higher dimensions, and any authentic evolutionary relationship must have the courage to go through the deaths that engender the rebirths.

An evolutionary relationship reaches higher and higher dimensions.

Marion Woodman, the great Jungian analyst and pioneer of the sacred feminine, said to me:

I have had four marriages with my husband, and at the end of each marriage there was a crisis that we had to make the commitment to go through, a projection that had to die. But we stuck at it and we went through it, and the love that we know now in our eighties is the greatest and deepest love we have experienced.

A Collective Consciousness

The seventh principle requirement is that from the very beginning of this adventure into evolutionary love you must make the commitment for it not to be just a personal orgy, a cultivation of an oasis of private pleasure. You must engage consciously in this relationship to make you stronger, to serve the planet, to recognize that it is a relationship not only grounded in the Divine, not only infused by sacred practice, but it is from the very beginning dedicated to making both people more powerful, more reflective, more passionately engaged with the only serious truth of our time: The world is dying, and we need a major revolution of the heart to empower everyone to step forward and start doing the work of reconstruction and re-creation that is now desperately needed.

An excerpt from Evolutionary Love Relationships: Passion, Authenticity, and Activism

A Duet of One: Nonduality and Intimate Relating ~ Lynn Marie Lumiere

Published on May 4, 2017

True intimacy is the One celebrating itself as two. There is nothing more intimate than directly knowing that we are one Being and consciously sharing that together. Although we all long for this intimate union, it cannot be found through relationship or sexuality that is based on a belief in separation and duality. In order to experience true love and intimacy we must come to know our nondual nature and begin to embody that in our relating. This presentation will explore how to embody nondual realization in intimate relationship in practical, real life ways, such as bringing nondual understanding into communication and conflict. The root cause of all relational disharmony can be traced to the belief in duality, which leads us to seek love outside our self in others. Once the source of the problem is known and true love is awakened within us, it is possible to fully resolve relational issues related to our wounding and conditioning. When we bring the whole truth, absolute and relative, to our relating, relationship becomes a joyful meeting in our shared Being with a vast potential for further healing and awakening.

Lynn Marie Lumiere, MFT is a nondual psychotherapist with a focus on awakening consciousness and meeting life’s challenges as doorways to greater freedom. Lynn Marie has been one of the pioneers in the emerging field of Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy since the first conference in 1998, which she helped organize. She is a contributing author for the Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy as well as Undivided: The Online Journal of Nonduality and Psychology. She is co-author of The Awakening West: Evidence of a Spreading Enlightenment and is the author of a new book, Undivided Love: A Guide to Awakened Relating

Love Is the Essence of Relationship ~Rupert Spira

A woman wants to understand why the sense of joy she felt at the moment of her mother’s passing has turned into deep sadness.

Transform Any Troubling Relationship into a Timeless Treasure ~ Guy Finley

Published on Feb 19, 2017

In this excerpt from an hour-long seminar that Guy Finley presented on Sunday 2/15/17, he explains why our relationships are the most untapped resource on the planet when it come to our spiritual growth. The full replay of this class is available in Guy’s Online Wisdom School,, where you can join other true aspirants from around the world as we work to understand and embody these truthful principles in our daily lives.

Adyashanti – Fierce Love

Published on Feb 9, 2017 – Adyashanti introduces the online study course that he will be doing March 2017 called, “Fierce Love: Being a Sane and Benevolent Presence in a World of Confusion.” The emphasis of this course will be on being a loving presence in the world of relationship, work, and all of the various commitments that you have. How can you bring more love and compassion into every element of your life, and let loving action guide and inform your every move in the world? How can you be a more benevolent presence to life itself and all those people whom you cherish and love? Adyashanti invites you to join him for this 4-week commitment to put love into action.


Decisions based on Love and Understanding, Rupert Spira interviewed by Amy Torres and Bill Free

Published on Feb 8, 2017

Spiritual teacher Rupert Spira gives valuable advice on decision making using a (long-term) relationship as an example. If we are thinking about leaving our partner, all kinds of fears will arise. But according to Rupert our decisions in general and especially in such a situation should be based on love and understanding and not on fear. Because ‘any decision that we make from fear will carry that fear into the consequences of our decision,’ Rupert says. Also we will find ourselves in similar situations over and over again, repeating the same pattern in future decisions and relationships. The only solution to this is to clearly look into ourselves and see directly what is happening, until old patterns are transformed.

Rupert Spira is being interviewed by Amy Torres and Bill Free (A Course in Miracles, Teachers of God Foundation)


Commitment in Relationship ~Amoda Maa Jeevan

Published on Dec 28, 2016

Find out more at

The promise of the perfect relationship and the dream of ultimate fulfilment through another. It is a fantasy of the egoic self.

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